A Silent Love ( A Poem for Dani)

This was actually a response to a poem I wrote about my dad and a fellow poet of mine was so intrigued by the situation he wanted to know more about it so we talked and I filled him in. Answered questions. Whole nine. So an event came up where we had the opportunity to ghost write from the inside perspectives of other poets and he chose me and this is what he came up with. I loved the piece and thought I would share since I never have.

The words I wish I could hear from you…
I’ll never get the chance to hear…
cancer taking your voice
and before now I never knew you had a voice!
Like my life was put on credit and you were given an invoice
that read;
“Take care of your seed whenever you damn well please!”
Now…
now with now words or sounds from your lips
we communicate through written words…
and do you know how long I’ve been waiting to hear you speak words…
how long I’ve waited to hear your voice
but now you voice, your voice sounds a lot like a lost breeze to me
never makes a sound unless someone listen…
and I’ve been trying to listen to you since I was little!
Since I’ve meet you but how did you not want to meet me…
the daughter you helped create
the life you help make
but now when your weak…you call me…to help you in your time of need
no wonder my hearts weak
you’re the reason why my heart skips beats
when I think of what you’ve done to me…

Showed me how not to love,
what to watch out for when dating
you cared more about your daytons than your daughter
cared more about your liquor than my life
more about your hoes than your wife!
It’s like…it’s like I never existed
and when I finally did…
on the inside…
on the inside I felt like it was too late!

No words…
no words ever came from your lips
but I’ve witnessed you makes sounds in your younger days
but you never made sounds towards me
and now I’m more confused than ever…
trying to do what writes
to a man who’s done nothing in my life!
but no matter how much wrong you’ve done,
no matter what hell and high water you’ve been through
I forgive you!

I will always be here for you,
trying to love you like you never loved me
and I know it pains you deeply
to never be able to speak those words to me,
but as long as I can dream…
and as long as you can write…
I’ll put your voice on ever written word you write
see how God delivered you into my life.

Making us share my passion for the pen
how we write novels of love long songs
so beautiful that they belong in Psalms
they would make Solomon blush!
You may not can speak
but we deliver deadly sound waves
that make the ground shake when write on this page
we laugh though hugs,
kiss through exclamations points
and at this point…
I’m just a little girl who loves her daddy more than ever
happy to share this time with him….
happy that he shares it through me,
and even though for a long time I told myself for you I would never have sympathy
you’ve reminded me…
how to Honor you…how to look into your eyes
and even though you can say…
you write it!

And I want you to never forget that it’s the days with you that get me through
so you don’t have to say it…cause
actions speak louder than words
Love isn’t said it’s shown and I…well…
I LOVE YOU TOO!

Written Sex

My poetic thoughts penetrate words deeper than the penal thrusts to my wall's curves
Insane strokes of back and forth action
Action manuscripts converted to active actions of words
Action verbs transformed from active nerves
Nerves that acted like they feared to be heard
Say word?
So these words I grasp to massage gently, initially
Then eventually grinding and winding, damn near blinding the sights of their origin
I strip their vision, split incisions into intended insertions
I convert word religions and foster born-again virgins
I menstruate cycles of blood-shed meanings
Seeming as you're feening for the weaning off my word dominant leading
Aaahhhh, let me leave these words alone
But they keep coming back wanting to be shown how my clever lever pierces their skin to the bone So I continue to seize control, and tease their flow
I squueze then release and let go
Till their semen starts oozing from the smoothing of my word-rooting
Pillow talk anyone?

Rupture

He flew from the heavens as a bullet set to pierce my soul
To rupture inside of me as protection from the cold
Creasing folds of feathered guards to safeguard my ward
Chemically reacting to his guardianship dispensing medicine to sword the pain
Taking charge of his self proclaimed reign
Erratic emotions now contained within his shielded frame
Spasms of volatile attachments calmed to still submission in his domain
Connecting to wavelengths synced from heart to brain
Yeah, this love’s insane

Love Jeopordy

Love once left me cold and gray like Eric Benet
But just like his heaven slipped away but yet returned
My heart can do the same, this is what I've learned
Cause love is what my heart yearns
Even though my mind's discern of love turns opposite angles
Even when love chicken cravings for Popeye's are substituted with Bojangles
Fuck love I'm tired of trying, my heart's big but it beats quiet
Me and Tyga were on the same page with that, love was David and I was Goliath
But just as David conquered swell against the mighty great giant
All the power within my soul couldnt even defeat my own defiance
So I lost that battle when the lovefluenza struck
So this time was it destined, doomsday, or just a fuck
Another fuck you over Dani cause you were too open to see
That the temporary breath of fresh air would turn into not being able to breathe
There's always a risk and you just never know which way the tides shall turn, which way the winds will breeze
But like Luther nothing hurts as bad as when you see u gave up too easily
So if love makes the world go round
And love is indeed profound
And the sound that humans delight and renown
Then when it comes, why cant we just take it?
Instead, we choose to fake it
Shake and bake it, purposely tryin to break it
Before its even formed
Because experience has you forewarned
Torn like 7 squirrels nesting on one acorn
Only one is gonna get it
And when the chosen one is you
Why not embrace what other's wish they could have too
Who knows, maybe its one of those one a lifetime's Monica sang
Dont let it kick you in the ass, unaware, like Pootie Tang
I don't know, you'll never know unless you try it
Your for sale sign might be on strike, love's entry will cause a riot
Just one of those things that will chip away at you and haunt you forever with that "what if" tag
If you try and fail, at least the uncertainty didnt kill your puzzled jag
You'll know the jig didn't fit, and you'll get over it, if it waz a misfit
But if the golden child is legit, isnt it worth takin a hit
Going from a brown penny to a tycoon
Just from focusing in on your free zoom
Now a steady replay, permanent itune inbred your heart's zune
Still rays that shined through, now sliding glides across your circular moon
So yeah it can be "iffy", but play out to see if your what-ifs
Turn into your heart's desire for this life's eternal gift

Peasant Girl

Peasant Girl

From daddy to every man who's ever presented himself, the crown they tried to give me contained thorns dat pierced my scalp, turning me from princess to peasant girl, never qualified for queen
Daddy never said, hold ur head up princess, but if ever did maybe the crown wouldnt have been too heavy
Me, instead, never being throned, serviced my majesties till they no longer required being waitressed
Now Im jus an unemployed busgirl with an unclean heart being hailed and upheld and held by poetry, my only true love who ever reciprocated
Love never did love me, but poetry did
So I live, and I breathe, and I receive my embrace from the savior that The Savior gave me
Neither a man alone by description, but fulfillers of the love I sought from a man
So although I never knew love the way I sought or freely threw away, I still felt the greatest gift of all, love
Poetry is life, poetry is air, poetry is inspiration and motivation
Love is poetry
It saved me, poetry is my life, life is my poetry, poetry is my love, poetry IS love

 

Magic

Magic

Mary J said, "Chemistry was crazy from the get go and neither one of us knew why"
I banged dat joint and sang it with no meaning with all my soul's might
Cause it is the soul that music speaks to
But you really dont know a song till the story becomes you
And your soul is moved like a move but not really a move cause its brand new
So I'm moved by this dude like a heavily hit stream on youtube
That sets your groove but it's a brand new tune
Moved like the split ends of your hair have been trimmed
So your newgrowth can extend your hair's length
Instead of being split and falling out
But the hair was already in place, moved to change, hence cut
But the real reason why it grows is because the NEW hair follicle now struts
I'm moved liked a 17 hour road trip by car
Me and my destination are miles apart but really close
But my NEW GPS telepaths me there like ghost
I'm moved like the spread of jelly on a buttered toast
But my NEW toaster bronzes a new compleixion for me to boast
I'm moved like my most favorite open mic host
But this new energy cancels out everything else my pen eva wrote
I didnt ask to have a float to my boat
Or a zipper that fastens the air in my coat
Or a specially crafted love anecdote
Dat clears my lungs when I choke
Or link the chains dat were broke
Or tranquilizes my high to a drooling dope
Or unties da knots in my rope
Or instills in me unforseen hope
Or causes my saliva to soak
Ironically, not even feeling he's giving da okie doke
All dis from a magical hocus poke
David Blane couldn't tote dis magic in his kit
Devinely ordered, I can't call it, we just fit

Last Chapter

Have you ever fell so hard for someone who wasn't ready to persue a relationship with you and once you got over it and moved on they attempt to make a come-back and try again and you no longer even desire to be with them anymore?  Yup...here are my thoughts on that...

When I told you I wished we’d never met, of course I was upset

What do you think pain does to the heart to make words it knows it doesn’t feel still eject

That ribbon in the sky that we watched fly by to signify the beginnings of love had an unknown intercept

Virtual offenses kept defenses off the field, then forced off, but kept making retired comebacks like Brett

So that floating love ribbon was discharged from the sky, leaving streamers to decorate memories of divorced love anniversaries I wish I could forget

When what I really wish all I saw was crumbled up strips of tape tangled in malfunctioned tape cassette decks

But in that old boom box booms a system of love songs that do absolutely nothing but remind

Remind me of how blind love that you find cant unwind the hind sight that made the sights of love make the sights of your eyes bind to visions of illegal signs

Too bad I can’t rewind

Cause after all that effort you made, when I finally did decide to come around, you couldn’t even be mine

And you wonder why I spewed the bitter taste of toxic, over-ripened bloody wine

Wine that you let me sip till I became addicted to your inebriation

So should I thank you for forcing my rehabilitation

Me, an alcoholic made anonymous from your fabricated  3^rd cousin abbreviation

I guess that negates the conjugation of our relative anatomies conjoined, each time I cupped your   penetration

All to soothe the mind of a baby mama turned ex

So she wouldn’t think you and I were having sex

Or that I was a threat to being next

You were the one that fought so hard to bring you and I here to stand on this complex

Fine wining and dining, crushing pink bags of cookies, and using buildings to demolish 4 years of established respect

How do you make a promise to complete an action to a woman and her kids

Then stand them up and not even communicate till months later on the real reason why you had to renig

And via text at that, trying to remotely tweeze out injected twigs

I’ve been over you dude, long ago when you made me lose my cool

I shitted you out like a constipated stool

And now that I’m good, you wanna send multi media messages filled with drool

Bout how you corrected your mistakes and realized you were a fool

Here’s the thing, I’m sorry about all the hateful things I said and holding on to your possessions

I appreciate all the prior dates and genuine favors, and even the sex healing aggressions

The day we met and pics we took, how you treated my friends I never forsook

And although I said I wanted to forget, each moment we shared is curved in heart shaped cells that ring love songs with classic hooks

But what I cannot do is add starched powder to a recipe in Hell’s Kitchen that’s already been cooked

So your best bet is to let go of hopes of a televised reality show of you and I, and just close out the re-runs to good past times to reflect on in a book

I am glad that we did meet

Even in defeat

But final publication complete