My Write

Someone had the nerve to label my writing and my poetry as a hobby, I rudely had to correct them...No this is my passion, my life, my breath of fresh air...So I wrote a piece to reflect my feelings on that

My artistic gift is not an interest, there is no bank to deposit this ink I thrust with my heart's mystic must
A must so funky, Pepe Le Pew's body's fragrance beomes fouled as a flagrant to the ill scents of my un deodorized inspiration
This here, is no pulsatic sensation that flows with the wave of the current
No temporary dish being experimented with, brewing and stewing and test stirring
A scrapbook is a fukkin hobby, my words written or spoken dont market campaign lobbies
No surge in this outlet can trip or break this power to rob me of the sparks that generate this heat
These thoughts that leap from mind, that seap from soul/spirit/heart divide, are the molecules of oxygen that permit me to breathe
God gave you and I the breath of life
God gave me the gift to write
God gave me the need to write
God gave me the ooze to write
My pen never gave me the snooze blues to stop the write clock
My write clock writes continuously, to right my write
I write to right my wrongs
I write to right my rights
I write to write to right
I write to to express my rights and yours
I write to open ajar your closed intellectual doors
I write to stuff the smores of the generic grahams of cracked perspectives your lack of enlightenment smoothes
I write to fill the intellectually empty grooves of the fools of provoking thoughts
I write to fufill the cravings of the fufillment your jig jag puzzle pieces sought
I write for the battles lost in undeclared wars that you fought
I write for you, I write for me, I write for him, I write for she
I write with keys to unlock and free
I write what you cant put together and piece
I write to answer your unaswered pleas
I write what you seek in dark closets on bended knees
I write to relieve needs and gauze protect wounds that bleed
I write so that I can breathe, and you can release as you read
My write is the definition of me
My write is the medicinal supply to my grieve
My write is every emotions epitome
My write is every personality come to life that lacked persona from person
My write is the feast to your famine, your hydration to your thirsting
The cease fire to your bomb bursting
The compass to your wild searching
The shade to your stripped curtain
My write is the jerking of my clever flirting to clarify and distribute its disbursement
THIS, what I do, is no mere phase blurting
THIS, right here, is my life's destined working

Revenge

Just recently lost a friend to domestic violence so I felt compelled to write about it after months and months of ill feelings built up as a result of this situation...

They say its not healthy to hate so let’s bluntly state how sick I am

I mean if to hate you equates to being ill, then refer me to an oncologist to radiate this cancer  my heart feels

Although this form of cancer I’d live with for life, and call me sick again for attempting to murder you with this knife

My hatred is so progressed, I struggle everyday to progress the way Fredrerick Douglas stressed

He stressed a positive, I stress a negative, and I’m not ashamed like that mess Usher confessed

I stress this hate heavier than obese elephants emphasize weight

I flavor my hate like weedheads fill Mary Jane with enhance high concentrated lace

I amp it up higher than the uproaring gasoline raised rates

I spotlight your abomination with nauseating aches

I repulse your vanity with loathing disgrace

My disease craves for the dismemberment of your face

I spit this fiery venom with malignancy and haste

I wish to convert plaques of tissue to blood splattered paste

No worries, I will amend the brutality you just caked on my girl's face like icing topped sickle celled tattooed berries, you just wait

You’re gonna target the day you first decided to draw back your hand and label it the day you lost the breath of life as a man

Please understand I’m transfiguring your manhood from the little train that could, to the little man turned bitch that once stood

I’m going straight hood to avenge the body that you hammered like wood

Nailing 6 inch deep scars the way an Afred Hitchcock psychopath’s axe should

Your uppercuts thrashed more heavy than Katrina did those levies 

Crushing arteries into veins like a construction worker being compressed by a crane

Or a Taliban target being demolished by a hi-jacked plane

Or constricting a tree bark down to a microscopic grain

Or blasting 17 automatic bursts of metal shells to the brain

You will regret the day that into her life your sorry ass ever came

Cause the demolition man this hatred targets aint leaving no organic remains

I’m bout to remake the motion picture of Dawn of the Dead and claim my Hollywood Fame

Based on a true story, first horrific reality show to air a corpse blowing up in flames

And celebrating that shit by putting it on display at the Guggenheim Museum in Spain

My hatred for you is so insane it’s more loco than the membranes of the cypress hill gang

So yea I’m sick, cause I hate you but that aint’ gon change

But you aint got nobody but yourself to blame

So point the finger at you, cause your soul is already pinned on the bruised powdered donkey’s ass

Hell hath seen no fury to this woman’s scorned glass

Broken to bleed in your skin to symbolize the pieces of permanent scars that your fatal attraction carved in

And take heed to this final message that I feed, like Evie E, even with me going this vengeful route

You’ll never understand what our love was all about

To Him

I was really feeling some type of way this week about a situation with a man so I felt compelled to relieve some negative emotions by writing, and oh boy did it help, as usual...Very therapeutic...I apologize for the raw nature of my language in this piece but unfortunately I cannot dilute because this is how it originated from heart at that very moment so to censor it would serve the entire piece injustice...

I get ahead of myself at times and get as inpatient as a woman in labor with no cervical dilation

My emotional sensations are the bin Laden of my erratic situations

They are the command and control center of my reactions to aggravate civil communications

But my humble nature kicks in every time and slows down my ride

And that’s exactly what I did for you and I

So instead of shying away from what I did, or what you did to make me do what I did, I apologized

Not because I was wrong or that I thought you were right

But because it’s no sense in carrying beef and holding on to a continuous fight

And because my ego takes the back seat to my love for you and this relationship that I like

I sent you emails, text messages, rings to your phone with no response

You made it clear that you had no interest and I wasn’t what you want

You were a no show to the trip we planned and paid for

I transcended from your adore to your ignore, so I aint trying no goddamn more

I told you that we didn’t have to necessarily be committed

But you were too small for that, so on my outreach you just straight shitted

I can admit that I’m still feeling you bad

And the sex was the absolute best I ever had

But what’s sad is that I let you get in my ear, touch my heart, all for nothing, so now I’m just mad

If you really meant all the things you said to break me down

You would have treated me differently, now how in the hell does that sound?

You’re just a fucking clown that I should have never allowed in

I even brought you around my kids, now what kind of message does that send?

Datz some shit I don’t ever ever fucking do, dude you have no clue how bad I was feelin you

But to all that I don’t give a fuck, cuz I know when to fall the hell back, so I wish you and your next one the best of luck

You missed out on the greatest thing

But you already know that cuz you wuz already trying to give me a ring

I went out my way for your ignorant bitch ass

And you aint give me shit but a daily dose of a piece of ass

Yea I deleted you from facebook and took your number out my phone

Now you wanna re-friend request me and ask me if you can come home?

Fuck outta here wit dat shit, in my Ed Lover voice

No time for bitchassness, aint no renigging on your own damn choice

I can’t believe I even let you take me there

Precisely the reason why I avoid these love scares

Fuck love I’m tired of trying, my heart big but it beat quiet, that’s what Tyga wrote

And I just wanna choke the shit outta your left ventricle for playing with it till it was broke

It’s all good though, no real true investments were made

But you can D-Wade dribble any hopes you have laid down to hell where you belong

And burn the fuck up in sulfuric acid and cry out your sad fucked up blues song

Cuz I’m back dolo strong for eternity long, now who thinks I’m wrong?

Too bad, I don’t give a fuck, I’m stuck on me and I’ll be damn if I let another love weed make my heart bleed

It suits itself anyway because love never did love me

A Poem For Mama

I wrote this poem about two months ago...in honor of the Mother's Day celebration yesterday, figured I would share again...

You were everywhere you should have been over the years

Though we’ve shed so many tears, been frightened by our biggest fears

But oh what a bond we share, and although the burdens of single motherhood was way more than you could bare

I’d say you conquered the quest pretty fair, and did the absolute best you could when there was no one else to care

How you’d provide for a child all alone, no directions, no assistance, only rejections and resistance

Your love was your persistence that kept you grounded to fight

Even when all resources vanished, and promised help was a mere invisible sight that never existed

Still you insisted no matter how much resisted to press forward with the strength of a steel shield

You’d kill whatever appeared to compromise my well being or diminished my appeal

To feel the burn igniting inside you was surreal, just thinking about your sacrifice makes my heart beat still

Silence….

Indescribable, that’s a mother’s love, more pure than the skin on the most immaculate dove

Up above is from whence your only help came, and the pain that was incurred by those that were so insane to leave you stranded and abandoned you disdained

So utterly confused as to why your plight had headed this direction

The complications that arose gave an incredible, intensified rise in perplexion causing infections of your peace of mind and permanently altered states of your complexion

Depression brought on recurring internal recessions incorporated with incessions of spiritual demons attacking  your soul for eternal reasons

Continuous seasons of this massive warfare, hurtful lessons of reality whipping on you as deadly weapons, then eventually gripping sections of the multiple dragons eventually destroyed by way of confessions, redemption, and prayer

What a joyful feeling it must have been to finally stand on the other side, and know that through all the pain and suffering your sacrificial efforts didn’t go in vain

And those decisions you made that drew incisions in your heart finally healed

And if you’ve ever questioned how I feel, or if I understood how real the love you so magically and colorfully illustrated

Understand if there was never a time I’ve demonstrated my appreciation for what you’ve done and continue to do

Please know that from your heart to mine and back to yours, I love you, I understood, and there will never be another you

Through all the drama, and all the love, most angelic and dearest Mama

Square Heart

Thought I'd give it one more try, thanks to the guy that dried my eyes

The one who stroked my pain with his lies

The one who pushed me to receive love's cry

Only this same guy would push and persist

Only to fall back and resist when my heart groped love's tender kiss

All I can think of is all the times I dismissed his heartfelt wish list

He pushed, I pulled away

He pressed, I turned away

He caressed, I ran away

So then comes the day where my heart finally gave way

What I mistake I made

All that love I just gave away

And for what? Because as soon as I became stuck on the strings of goo that made me a fool

He pulled away and his attachment flew away

So that's it, I'm done trying, I'm done crying, I'm done buying love queries

Sick of being depressed, down trodden and weary

Bitter bitten and consumed with fury

I know it's all about the wrong selection

But love's continuous rejection turns my discretion into rejecting love injections

I've been injected with infected does of rejects too often, so this last infection turned rejection equals ejection plus objection to future injections

I have formed an obstruction to the pathways of my heart's seduction

This obstruction causes massive abruption and forced suctions to suction interruptions of its structured obstruction

Yes I have an obstruction to loving, no exceptions, enough lessons, I'm done with heart shaped wolf dressings of love's blessings

I can do without all the heart shaped stressing

My heart no longer contains any curves

Its shape is non-heart, square from tip to top tied with secure locks

Boxed with stone, filled with bone, no structure to bend or clone

Too hardened for even my chest to own

All edges and entrances securely stitched and sewn

Detached from the world, myself, displaced, encased in space all alone

Familiar Stranger

Have you ever had a really good friend of the opposite sex that turned into a love affair that didn't work out and you found it hard to hold on to your friendship after the love failed?  Let me share this concept for that I came up with called 'Familiar Stranger'

We started out as simple friends way back when like when LA Gear and Double Diamond BK’s graced our feet and like when kids sat down and shut da hell up when adults speak, you know what I mean

And so then you became my kin and you had my back like the strap of my bra to hold my breasts tight

And if a clasp broke to make it loose, you were like a safety pin that held it together on both ends

Whoever tested me, you made sure they went through it, your defense jacked careers like the beast hits of Ray Lewis

We went through our own share of issues like mucous saturates tissues but we always came back to what we had like we were never even mad, we built a surround BS proof studio where only the beats we engineered were allowed  to go through  

Through and through, from red to blue, me going from dude to dude and you being my cool ass dude that wasn’t actually my dude but yet you were the number one sir in my yes, giving me the best of the best

Better than my bed turned my sleep to rest

More punctual than the question mark at the end of a guess

Creating standards for others to be put to test

Complimenting me more than a suit to a vest

Writing finances to mutually invest

Changing the pace of the beat in my chest, to match your electric rhythm to a synchronized set

Making the water wells wet, damn and then came the sex

So the ship that was a friend turned kin sank Titanically and died on the scene, instantaneously

But see the ship that sank was secretly impregnated for months with a midgette romance, midgette like not fully developed all the way on the outside but fully grown in its own right

So fully grown that its already reached its maximum height at birth, not to downgrade its worth because its still an earth being, being brought here though before seeing its deformity

The growth has already been maximized, abnormally

And normally when you’re with child you can prepare for its arrival, but this midgette born premie just unraveled my baby shower, unrattled

No gifts to receive baby, baby is showered with coward and no blanket wraps, SURPRISE! It’s a boy, no it’s a girl, no it’s a premature love romance unfurled

Damn, my world has been rocked like MJ’s doc was stocked with rocks to mock unconscious states

But, every child born is a blessing, even the unexpected right, even if I hate the means to the ending fate

Only the weight of the loss and gain of the addition doesn’t measure out to a steady balance

My chamber put on so many pounds that the sheer curtains fell straight to the ground, I knew those drapes wouldn’t last, we bought em too fast, it was only to cover up the stained glass, damn I miss my ship, and just as soon as I tossed that mourn, here comes another huge loss

Losing the ship to give way to the midgette, then losing that, brings us to zero digits

No turning back now, friends to lovers now ended turns our backs to each other

You can’t be my friend because I loved you and because I loved you I can’t not love you and because I love you, you can’t be my friend but because you were once my friend you can’t be a stranger but because you’re not a stranger that makes you familiar, now isn’t that strange?

Once a bill is broken to change, the change cant be broken back up to its original range

Yea I know still strange

But that’s the whole point of the dynamic that’s been redefined, we can’t rewind

Our time is behind like the link before the next link on the chain, the link that broke, and yea it can be replaced, but not with that same link, the chain has to be rekinked, but whenever I stumble across that missing link I’ll always wink because it will always be strangely familiar, Mr Familiar Stranger

Emotional Roller Coaster

I am a very emotional and sensitive person.  Sometimes I get so overwhelmed and consumed with feeling that I just can't contain it.  This is part of why I'm a writer.  Writing is the only thing that allows me to let go.  It does something to me that no other entity can do, including prayer.  I was experiencing a very intense situation on Friday, so I had to let the emotions go, and I wrote a little something to afford me that opportunity.  I thank God for blessing me with this poetic gift, where would I ever be without it. 

EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

Cant shake these emotions inhabiting my soul

My spirit is unsettled, downward spiraling out of control

The ingredients settling around the edges are seeping through the crevices accumulating organic mold

Now growing through my skin scolding burns into my pores

The jumbotron of my heart BLEW UP from the defensive scores

The boards couldn't keep up with the play by play action wars

The plays went something like this:

Run blitz from cover 1 coverage shell

Counter with tight man bump and run hell

Employ tight end stunt to nail offensive blocking fails

Disrupt wide receiver release to prevent pre-assigned run sails

Pre-empt pass rush attempts to force fumble success spells

All these defensive plays my heart made all got expelled

What the hell???

My head is just spinning from all this kick ass opponent winning

Its cutting more spins than the crack sniffs Whitney snuffed in

Rotating more turns than the feces in my intestines churn

Shifting more uncoordinated glides than a bunch of non rhythm having off beat folk tryna do the electric slide

Or the Typewriter to Hammertime

Or the windows fogged up in your jeep R Kelly Bump N Grind

Or the authentic Caribbean style reggae wind and Butterfly

Or even the damn two step ABC move to any old groove

Dammit, you get the point, my mind is blowing more smoke than that NAS Ether that made Jay-Z choke

My chest is so saturated with emotional mess it could soak a waterfall in Niagara West

Plus South, North, West again, and then East

My emotions run more wild than the savage in a beast

Outer space doesnt even have the room for all this heart struck matter to feast

No single extinguisher or hose has the engine for these burning flames to cease

BUT through all that all I needed was to write to regain peace