To Him

I was really feeling some type of way this week about a situation with a man so I felt compelled to relieve some negative emotions by writing, and oh boy did it help, as usual...Very therapeutic...I apologize for the raw nature of my language in this piece but unfortunately I cannot dilute because this is how it originated from heart at that very moment so to censor it would serve the entire piece injustice...

I get ahead of myself at times and get as inpatient as a woman in labor with no cervical dilation

My emotional sensations are the bin Laden of my erratic situations

They are the command and control center of my reactions to aggravate civil communications

But my humble nature kicks in every time and slows down my ride

And that’s exactly what I did for you and I

So instead of shying away from what I did, or what you did to make me do what I did, I apologized

Not because I was wrong or that I thought you were right

But because it’s no sense in carrying beef and holding on to a continuous fight

And because my ego takes the back seat to my love for you and this relationship that I like

I sent you emails, text messages, rings to your phone with no response

You made it clear that you had no interest and I wasn’t what you want

You were a no show to the trip we planned and paid for

I transcended from your adore to your ignore, so I aint trying no goddamn more

I told you that we didn’t have to necessarily be committed

But you were too small for that, so on my outreach you just straight shitted

I can admit that I’m still feeling you bad

And the sex was the absolute best I ever had

But what’s sad is that I let you get in my ear, touch my heart, all for nothing, so now I’m just mad

If you really meant all the things you said to break me down

You would have treated me differently, now how in the hell does that sound?

You’re just a fucking clown that I should have never allowed in

I even brought you around my kids, now what kind of message does that send?

Datz some shit I don’t ever ever fucking do, dude you have no clue how bad I was feelin you

But to all that I don’t give a fuck, cuz I know when to fall the hell back, so I wish you and your next one the best of luck

You missed out on the greatest thing

But you already know that cuz you wuz already trying to give me a ring

I went out my way for your ignorant bitch ass

And you aint give me shit but a daily dose of a piece of ass

Yea I deleted you from facebook and took your number out my phone

Now you wanna re-friend request me and ask me if you can come home?

Fuck outta here wit dat shit, in my Ed Lover voice

No time for bitchassness, aint no renigging on your own damn choice

I can’t believe I even let you take me there

Precisely the reason why I avoid these love scares

Fuck love I’m tired of trying, my heart big but it beat quiet, that’s what Tyga wrote

And I just wanna choke the shit outta your left ventricle for playing with it till it was broke

It’s all good though, no real true investments were made

But you can D-Wade dribble any hopes you have laid down to hell where you belong

And burn the fuck up in sulfuric acid and cry out your sad fucked up blues song

Cuz I’m back dolo strong for eternity long, now who thinks I’m wrong?

Too bad, I don’t give a fuck, I’m stuck on me and I’ll be damn if I let another love weed make my heart bleed

It suits itself anyway because love never did love me