Magic

Magic

Mary J said, "Chemistry was crazy from the get go and neither one of us knew why"
I banged dat joint and sang it with no meaning with all my soul's might
Cause it is the soul that music speaks to
But you really dont know a song till the story becomes you
And your soul is moved like a move but not really a move cause its brand new
So I'm moved by this dude like a heavily hit stream on youtube
That sets your groove but it's a brand new tune
Moved like the split ends of your hair have been trimmed
So your newgrowth can extend your hair's length
Instead of being split and falling out
But the hair was already in place, moved to change, hence cut
But the real reason why it grows is because the NEW hair follicle now struts
I'm moved liked a 17 hour road trip by car
Me and my destination are miles apart but really close
But my NEW GPS telepaths me there like ghost
I'm moved like the spread of jelly on a buttered toast
But my NEW toaster bronzes a new compleixion for me to boast
I'm moved like my most favorite open mic host
But this new energy cancels out everything else my pen eva wrote
I didnt ask to have a float to my boat
Or a zipper that fastens the air in my coat
Or a specially crafted love anecdote
Dat clears my lungs when I choke
Or link the chains dat were broke
Or tranquilizes my high to a drooling dope
Or unties da knots in my rope
Or instills in me unforseen hope
Or causes my saliva to soak
Ironically, not even feeling he's giving da okie doke
All dis from a magical hocus poke
David Blane couldn't tote dis magic in his kit
Devinely ordered, I can't call it, we just fit

Last Chapter

Have you ever fell so hard for someone who wasn't ready to persue a relationship with you and once you got over it and moved on they attempt to make a come-back and try again and you no longer even desire to be with them anymore?  Yup...here are my thoughts on that...

When I told you I wished we’d never met, of course I was upset

What do you think pain does to the heart to make words it knows it doesn’t feel still eject

That ribbon in the sky that we watched fly by to signify the beginnings of love had an unknown intercept

Virtual offenses kept defenses off the field, then forced off, but kept making retired comebacks like Brett

So that floating love ribbon was discharged from the sky, leaving streamers to decorate memories of divorced love anniversaries I wish I could forget

When what I really wish all I saw was crumbled up strips of tape tangled in malfunctioned tape cassette decks

But in that old boom box booms a system of love songs that do absolutely nothing but remind

Remind me of how blind love that you find cant unwind the hind sight that made the sights of love make the sights of your eyes bind to visions of illegal signs

Too bad I can’t rewind

Cause after all that effort you made, when I finally did decide to come around, you couldn’t even be mine

And you wonder why I spewed the bitter taste of toxic, over-ripened bloody wine

Wine that you let me sip till I became addicted to your inebriation

So should I thank you for forcing my rehabilitation

Me, an alcoholic made anonymous from your fabricated  3^rd cousin abbreviation

I guess that negates the conjugation of our relative anatomies conjoined, each time I cupped your   penetration

All to soothe the mind of a baby mama turned ex

So she wouldn’t think you and I were having sex

Or that I was a threat to being next

You were the one that fought so hard to bring you and I here to stand on this complex

Fine wining and dining, crushing pink bags of cookies, and using buildings to demolish 4 years of established respect

How do you make a promise to complete an action to a woman and her kids

Then stand them up and not even communicate till months later on the real reason why you had to renig

And via text at that, trying to remotely tweeze out injected twigs

I’ve been over you dude, long ago when you made me lose my cool

I shitted you out like a constipated stool

And now that I’m good, you wanna send multi media messages filled with drool

Bout how you corrected your mistakes and realized you were a fool

Here’s the thing, I’m sorry about all the hateful things I said and holding on to your possessions

I appreciate all the prior dates and genuine favors, and even the sex healing aggressions

The day we met and pics we took, how you treated my friends I never forsook

And although I said I wanted to forget, each moment we shared is curved in heart shaped cells that ring love songs with classic hooks

But what I cannot do is add starched powder to a recipe in Hell’s Kitchen that’s already been cooked

So your best bet is to let go of hopes of a televised reality show of you and I, and just close out the re-runs to good past times to reflect on in a book

I am glad that we did meet

Even in defeat

But final publication complete

Imagnary Real

Don't let this poem give you a headache, please stay with it and I promise if you follow along it will come together in the end...watch how I compare my imaginary man in my head to math...

Imaginary Real

What is a number really? 

I got people lookin at me like ok Dani is just illy or just outright being silly

No really, how real is the realness of how you really quantify or shall I say process how real a number is for real?

And who is to say a number is really a number, because for real, a number really isn’t a number for real for real, ok I just killed your logic

But that’s what poets do right, we defy logic by way of how our logic symbolizes logics of real things that are symbolic

See, there’s that word real again, so let me reel your logic back in

So we know arithmetics and defined values traditionally are how we represent numbers

But realistically arithmetical values can be expressed in words and symbols

Did you catch that?

Algebraic equations are nothing but characteristic symbolic statements we fill in to complete the intended sayings

The ASCII fillers are still used in counting and making calculations

Imagine that, numeric quantities translated from series of non numeric abbreviations and identifications

Do I still have your concrete logic wavering? Ok so let me continue to break down this real logic I’m laboring

And then I’ll begin tapering off so your new real logic can begin savoring this symbolic flavoring

Ok so we got the number out the way, were you aware that there’s a such thing as an imaginary number, yea right no way is what you say

Ok, let’s have a real quick complex math session today

There’s a mathematical number coined, lower case italicized i, based on the square root of the minus of the number that’s not real

I know you’re like, are you for real?

If you didn’t get that, it’s like say the real number is 1, you have an imaginary equivalent of the square root of minus 1, that’s the imaginary sum

So you ask, where in the hell did you get that from? This is real math baby, no lie, when we’re done go surf the web on a google run

Simply put, it aint nuttin but a complex number in the form of a + bi where a and b are real numbers, and I is the square root of -1

Now you can substitute a or b with any real non zero number, but the i remains the complex one

So I mathematically equate this form to the imaginary man my head has spun but really real once you fill in the sums

The missing pieces algebraically make it an arithmetical imaginary run

But when the fillers come to reveal the products of the sums, the run runs from imaginary to real

And to me that is a really big real deal

So here’s what I’ve imagined, and this is real short by the way

Compassion and concern, tender physical caresses that make my body yearn

Protection and security, like warding off my impurities, voluntarily

Loyalty and understanding, never sanding the smooth surface of our established built from the ground up love branding

Listening without defending, speaking without offending

Sending just because I love you’s, doing little things to say there’s no one above you

Making my heart and my expressions smile, mentally stimulating me all the while

Being considerate and having fun, when this man comes my imaginary real victory is won

Till then I’ll substitute potential numerical runs till the sums are all negated down to one

One imagined number, several real imposters, one real one imagined, one imagined turned real, a real number from imaginary maybes

It all comes down to math baby

Assumptions

You say I'm harsh, too blunt or buttered with bitter melts of cynical cheese
At ease Soldiers, for u know not of the deoxygenated air from which I breathe
Until your past becomes seamed with the interwoven threads of my heart's history, you cannot relate to me and the transparency that I bring
The openness of the brokenness of my raw and medium rare souvenir of emotion is the token to which I embark on the stroking of the new chamber being birthed
The outward images you perceive to interpret dont appraise or depraise its worth
You can gauge its true value in the same manner that you predict the life expectancy and growth of an unknown flower prior to its implantation into the dirt of the earth
Only God can judge me, and last I checked you were not the all knowing, Alpha and Omega, gift giving, prayer answering, trial busting, blessing ordained, high and mighty, divine creator and master of beings, universal life force, infinity of hearts of hearts, omnipotent power of know it alls, ya'll be killing me
You think you know, but you really don't
Since when do you assumptions define my entire life's existence
Because you think you're intelligent
But what are you really selling?
The make-up of your assumptions could cake the graves of all those slain bodies laid in Haiti, Japan, Chile plus those here no longer dwelling
Quite compelling, how you think you have me figured all out
When a dot from a ball point pen is the metric defining how accurate your perceived legend maps out my journey's route
Without a doubt, your clues are more blue than the preschool cartoons and your fabricated realities would make for good Barney and Elmo sing a long tunes
The trilogy of my heart, soul and spirit and how their confessions to their stories gear it are off balance to your impressions, not even no where near it
I dont fear it, I dont fear you, my drive steers it, it steers in tune,
Just thought I'd break up the dusted trust in the room so the broken pieces could be vacuumed....

Back In The Day

This is a poem I wrote for a battle of the sexes poetry slam and which my team of wonderfully talented women won, and the judges seemed to really like this poem.  I had fun writing it, it took me down memory lane for a bit and made me realize just how different times are now from when I was a kid, damn I sound old right???!!!!!!  It's true though, we actually enjoyed the natural things of the world, we went outside and played and didn't need a whole bunch of electronics to entertain us.  We were very active, spontaneous, times are so different.  And I see that ever so evident as a parent raising my little cubs.  Here you go: 

Back in the day when I was young I'm not a kid anymore but some days I still wish I was a kid again

Don't ya'll remember way back when...

When we played outside till mama had to force us back in

Back then, our creativity had no end, the imagery we were imagining were the blends that created no bends to real means we turned to real life ends

Like really I aint even need no friends

Gimme some buckets and tin and I'm enacting the journey of Dorothy from Oz to wherever my imagination chooses to send

These lazy ass kids now sit in the house and google browse lyrics to recite that we had down to a science from tape-deck re-plays over and over again

How in the hell are you bored when you have more game consoles than I had shoes I wore

These PS3 driving Xbox having 360 degrees Wi-Fi cross country to country skype tabbing spoiled rotten rats on da rug need to learn how to reach creative ascensions

Whenever, wherever, whatever, Maxwell unplugged

Even these thugs cant be outside for more than three bugs

How you be hood wit no time in da wood and no street love

I remember way back when like when LA Gear and Double Diamond BK's graced our feet

And like when kids sat down and shut da hell up when adults speak

Just went outside to dutch a double and bob some jacks to hide and seek

An hour spent on anything meaningful is 40 minutes of withdrawals from missing doses of facebook peeps

A poke used to be a finger tipped encave, skin deep

Now it’s a mindless click more than likely from a lonely play-actionless freak

Your cyber IQ and text acroynym que has to be genius just to speak

I need some translations, I don't know what the hell l-l-s-r-f means when you follow a mention on the beak of a blue bird's tweet

Even when I got beat with a twig and my pockets of pennies were candy jipped by bad kids

I was living the good life, good life

These new skool blues fools will never know what back in the day was like

Except through these lanes my memories drive by to write

Last Woman Standing

Last Woman Standing

Where are my girlfriends to listen to the silent cries of my pain 

No frame of varying perspectives, only sedatives of the remains of what I was left with 

No resistance of a man, his tender kisses or tingling caresses of his hand 

No compliments, demands or weeding out those who don't understand the value of my worth 

No birth of miracles and new life to rear 

No fear of disadvantages, no tears caused by heartbreak 

No undermining the sheer elegance of my outward appearance which mirrors the interior 

No belittling, being made to feel inferior 

No need to strive to be  superior 

No hand made creations, vivid visualizations, or temptations 

No sensual sensations made by erotic vibrations 

No conversation, debating, or specifically tailored hating 

No compassion, live entertainment, or celebrations of fame 

Where's the controversy and name bashing, media circus and back stabbing 

No transferals of sorrow or hope for tomorrow 

Mixed emotions and lack of devotion from family and labeled friends 

All beginnings now turned to ends, no amends to past mistakes all sins transpired cannot be redeemed

 All existence has expired and all inspirations to live have retired 

My will, my soul, my burn has ceased fire The suffering is no longer shared, the struggle is left for one woman to bear 

No other hair to transfer da issues I can't handle 

No sandal of protection to carry the mid-section of life's worries 

No need to hurry, traffic is a one woman's street I can drag my feet if I desire and no one would speak

 I can only keep the lessons of those who inspired me while here 

So as this tear rolls down  and I comfort my own embrace as I'm disgraced with the emptiness that I face

 I choose to cherish the memories of the prior life that existed, however much resisted and receive this strife, with loud out cries of why I had to be the one to lie in this high landfill of torture all alone 

The only sound remaining is my desperate moan, 

so here with no choices 

No voices to turn to, no direction commanding 

I wait my turn to join the forces so I no longer bare the thorns of the last woman standing

Pearl Made Diamond

I was in a really bad car accident the end of September and ended up having to part ways with my car who I named Pearl, a white Honda CR-V.  I had been through so many things with Pearl and was really upset she was a total loss, but thankful that she spared my life at the same time.  Then miraculously, a new silver Acura MDX was born and given to me as a blessing which lifted my spirits, she was my new shimmering star, what a jewel, so I named her Diamond.  So, me being a poet, I wrote a short poem about it, like to hear it, hear it go...

Pearl Made Diamond

Who woulda thought such an ivory ebony mix would mesh for miles so far ahead

After sighting love instantaneously on the same lot where we thee wed

She led every route we took

My safety she never forsook

She trekked through fatal ditches, craning through rough edged nooks

Criss crossing state lines, tic tac toe x’ing each curve every time, burning tread like Foreman, mean with a lean rolled smooth, fresh look

Till that 7^th year she was laid to rest

I tried my best to not fret as I paid my last respects

The perfect harmonies of our lives no longer side by side

Being forced to say good-bye without not even having one last final ride

My Ivory named Pearl, she had to forever leave me

No longer uniting chords like McCartney and Stevie

But the old sung tunes in the clashed chords made a perfect pitch

When Diamond and I collaborated to sound a new melody over-toned in silver, shimmering rich

So although I loved my sheik of Pearl whose loss bred whining

I’m at peace with refining my Pearl who gave birth to a Diamond

Deception

My mind had been held captive since an adolescent

Not realizing the love demons present became a suppressant

To the caretaker of my soul's essence

The most fatal drug addiction known to my heart attached a compressing crescent

That would never re-gain its normal shape after this deadly weapon revived life after death branding brush of death blessings

Being choked by gulping hard to swallow life lessons of the love that attempted to take me out

And after the attempt made on my life I selfishly took the same route

Intent on executing violent measures to manifest suicidal thoughts lying to rest all questionable doubts

Wrote letters to be read later to my 2 year old seed

For two whole years she wuz my only motivation

Motivation which wasnt even conceived until that pregnancy

Even then at first I never thought I'd birth a live baby to breed

After 3 consecutive miscarriages my husband beat the hell out of me

Thinking all that time I had a deformity causing my unborn babies to spontaneously deplete

Still holding on to this love that had been my steady but irregular heartbeat

Me not knowing at the time without it my heart's open wounds would begin to seal, heal, and no longer bleed

Leaks of esteem and worth that took a lifetime to feed

Now running on empty and replaced with refrigerated deeds

A continuous ice cold chipped breeze after breeze after breeze blew to defrost my frozen meat into liquid protein

Transforming its nutritional value from 100% beef to 100% lean

Eaten by the devil himself taking chunks of heart at a time to be flat lined like the narrow-ruled borders on this paper from which I read

So I guess me following this bastard all over the world truly did become my life's misery

Dropping my life's work at the drop of a dime to support his career's needs

Abandoning my desires and afforded opportunities

Giving up rewards given and job offers being thrown at me

That would have had me sittin on a throne that project girls like me never see

Scratching family ties that sacrificed it all to pave the way for all these self forsaken blessings I was supposed to receive

Getting his sorry behind out of debt cause I placed his happiness before my needs

Forgiving every lie and backstabbing mistake cause his cunning had my heart deceived

Letting him destroy my good name and credit cause my dumb, stupid love clung to his dishonesty

Putting me beneath his majesty like I wasnt fitting to be a queen, but a peasant girl breaking my neck to satisfy his greed

Suffocating my value as a human being till I became smothered with heartbreak when he decided to leave

And with that, me feeling like I had a deficiency

So much that my inadequacy deprived me of the ability to breathe

Not even prayer and miraculous intervention contained the power to make me believe

It took years and years of daily suffering and agony to realize that this inflicted injury

I had to rebound from, not for him, but for my daughter and me

So I slowly came out of my affliction even with him thrusting in my face his marriage to the bitch with whom he used to cheat

Cee-Lo was a genius, fuck em both, and that aint no damn plea

I've already taken care of me, and as for he and she

I've preconceived the wrath of the wrath that will turn into the wrath of their aftermath all because they thought they were gonna be pleased

But see this bitch karma gave me a peek at their excruciating, persecuting tease

Of death before their pitiful lives will be devoured and relieved

In the interim I’m pain free mentally like a lifetime brain feed of allieve

I'll just cherish the memories of my intimate dances with the devil that turned this forgery of love

from make believe

to temporarily, simulated heavenly,

to barely living

to aggravated misery,

to suicidal attempts deliberately,

to dying while living artificially

to turning the worst betrayal of my life that destroyed my life and gave me life simultaneously

Now that I reflect, that betrayal was the precise need my experience with love needed to essentially claim the most liberating victory

The victory that would be the ultimate savior of me from me

that would breed the me that I am

Who I couldnt be and wouldnt be had it not been for the loss of my ocular vision that led to the new lenses through which I now see

The resuscitation that cleared my lungs through which I now breathe

And most significantly,

the murder of my heart, love re-incarnated from death, without having to learn or be re-taught on how to receive the love destined for me,

with ease.

When Nothing Is Everything

This thing called love is something I can feel but cant feel
My heart vogues en space where my palms cant place
It wears felt expressions on my face my buds cant taste

Its appeal whips me harsher than a crocodile turned leather belt peeled with steel

The ills of love force my system's immunity to be immune to stings

Not imaginary, but not concrete to thread the strings of the gravity physics of things bring

Doesnt mean its an unmakeable unshakeable none reality none thing
Cuz this intangible is the one some thing that means every thing
God is love, He I cannot see

But everyday the sunshine reminds me of the reason why I breathe

The same air I intake for life shares space with my entire life's fight

Its a zero that I cannot zero in on but the everything that leaves me broken and torn

We live for love

We die for love

We begin with love

We die having loved and unloved love
Its the air of human survival
Its that heavenly emotional revival
Its that enemy driven hated on rival

Its all of and none of what you expect
It infects the affects of every effect

Its an admiration, eject, and reject
Its that everything that no one thing can fully ingest
Its all the worst of everything in nothing in the best of more,
plus less

No Labels

Our chemistry is like the magnetism of a hydrogen and oxygen molecule to form water

My link is the border to your free floating gifted metal that foils your four divided quarters into one whole frame, royally embroidered

It’s like combining platinum, majesty, darkness and fun 

Like both meshing and splicing the moon and the sun

Like you are the trigger, power and safety behind my gun

We connect the dots like jackpots in the machine slots after a win

What’s confusing is where did this attachment begin?

A rin-a-tin-tin, the man made of tin needs a heart

But who wuz da wizard dat tornadoed this start to whirlwind then park, here

I create art, you create art, but the melodic dependency of the heart of our combative arts resound classics like Mozart

Everything happens for a reason

Even if its visit wears out its welcome after a season

So if the reason is pleasing, no need in teasing the mind to understand the origin of the glow behind the shine

Just appreciate the chime before the sound of the time lags behind

The light may illuminate invisible lines when crafted memories cherished re-wind what now appears to be blind

But the present obscurity assuredly is supernatural, although unseen with no proof, quite factual

My emotions towards men flare and may seem a bit unstable

But I’ve yet to assign what I’ve seen in you a stigma, tag or label

So through all the jokes and drama, going back and forth and exchange of tudes 

You are now and will forever be my ignant but cool ass dude

Oh but dont get it twisted I still hate you

My Worth (The Do-Write Anthem)

My Worth (The Do-Write Anthem)

If I reduce myself down to a dime
I sell my one in a million short to spit on my shine

Real men dont carry pockets of loose change
So why would I coin myself loosely to a broken lame

The nine I carry on my face

Reign from clouds dat rain coils of platinum encased

Pure gold is not a treasury of the U.S. 

Neither is the embodiment of my valued chest

Priceless with no tags to measure

Immeasurable treasure, coins purchase generic plastics and pleather

Purebreds are secured, locked, and keyed

Redeemed with specially crafted deeds

My worth is bigger than anything your bank deposit ever posted

Steeper than the tonsils in the chick certified deep throated

Coated with more than stainless steel

More moving than the roll on a wheel
More precious than the emotions laced in any poem

More structured than the bones that construct any form

I am too expensive to cash in with cotton sacks
Or to be compared to a comparison that emulates a dead fact
I'm more precious to me than my pride is proud to be black

The size of my prize has no common value, to recap, no dime or coin can define my estimated stack

Indestructible

Here is another inspirational poem to help inspire those that need an uplifting...

Only God knows the reasons why my seasons remain still

My plights’ axis revolves around my heart with a dagger attached wheel and every so often halts its course to aim for its target’s core

The nucleus of my chamber has been destroyed; hence the global warming of my aura overheats my void

The explosion of my universe outbursts into a big bang

Only shattered pieces of glass and remnants of the original silhouette remain

Latitudes and longitudes are mistakenly altered measurements of my soul’s presence

Toxic instruments and infiltrations of heartbreak challenge the integrity of my essence

Predictions of natural disaster sent waves of broadcasts across the globe

Still the sheltered protection provided did not embody the strength to extend my hold

A black hole with no insulation, now disintegrates its neighboring counterparts becoming an infectious dismembered star turned scar

Heavily tarred with unidentified foreign objects, exposing my body to invasions of aggravated sensations

Alienating its molecular structure, transforming my state of being, becoming vulnerable to a universal combustible rupture of not just my form

But my former shining, illuminating spirit, which now lies dormant behind the transparent walls of my darkened moon

My wounds reflect the struggles, the transitions, and evolution of my planet which was headed towards extinction

If it were not for the distinction of my favorable Earth, currently being re-engineered to foster my new birth

Moonshine

I wrote this for a friend today who was having a bad day, just wanted to lift her spirits as she goes through the necessary transitions of this life...

Your beauty is to earth as shine is to sun

That doesn’t jade in the shadows of the moon even when darkness comes

Regardless of the spew of fires from poisonous dragons that intend you harm

The vile of these demons are repulsed by your spirit my love, so don’t be alarmed

The rain must fall so that we may feel the still rays as they reflect the true beauty of the earth's natural glow

This rain may become so intense to over stream the heights of the steepest waterfalls that flow

Your shimmering beams of beauty blaze so hot over time to turn up the heat

So clouds must hover to usher in precipitation to melt the scorching flames that leap

 This cools temperatures to bring balance amidst a star

 Your heart is the Venus that was only temporarily marred

Transparent from its earthly sphere to marble the globe of your luminous frame for a specified short time

 While the black hole of your emotions can return the sparkle of your chime

 The clouded diamond of yesterday's gloom is crystallized to radiantly gleam

So the outcome of your world, at this very moment, undergoing necessary natural maintenance shifts, is not at all what it seems

A King Dethroned

I wasn’t even looking for love when it got shoved in my deserted island offshore
How is water your surrounding neighbor but dehydration stats only read feeds when foreign objects spike up from ocean floors?
Shittin on amour like the annulments of Zsa Zsa Gabor
Instead, opposed to Miss Hungary, I became hungry, thirsting for more
Hit hard with strikes to kill Bill, comatose like Uma Thurman
Till affection switched my low to fluorescent glows like the green eyed bandit produced in Eric Sermon
Connected through words that metamorphose verbs into 3 dimensional implanted herbs
Growing stalks from blurbs of Jack, fabricated fairytale magic weaved with real tangible drilled nerves
Withdrawing from plays, avoiding game risks of win or lose
So why the fuck is this musical jazz moving my soul to feel these blues?
Heart gave in, too many attempts of being lovestruck gunned down
Let my cupid turn me stupid to drug cartel emotions monopolized by Nino Brown
Broke open guts of trust with no fuss, blossomed love from infatuated lust
Just to give way to a semen filled demon that chopped my toast into white croutons from sliced whole wheat crust
The text message I sent got a delayed 9 hour return
So I burnt your potential to ashes, stuffed remnants to dash in this urn
Prior daily doses of contact squirmed to spreads of hits or miss
The created norm we formed, during your hometown visit, your brainwaves didn’t consider two splits
The Queen you checked, then left on board with no moves, terminated the targeted King’s crown
Throne left unsecured, ignored and dissolved, no finish to incomplete rounds

Bitches

For us women, I'm sure you can relate to those women who constantly try to bring you down.  They are so insecure with themselves, they fixate on you and try to harp on any negative thing they can muster up.

Bitches

"Oh you think you cute cuz u got pretty long hair"
No bitch you just mad cuz ur bald spots look like two ripened brown pears
Matter of fact I never thought two splits about these flowing bristles that makes your jealousy whistle rotten stories
Years of imparting confidence in my insecurities produced my appreciation for my crowning glory
"You want my man cause I saw him looking at you"
No bitch dont get mad at me cause dis chick's bad, dis chick's hood, dis chick does things dat your man wish you could
Thing is, I never gave your dude a second glance
So getty-up horsey, I think your ranger over there is lookin for Mr Ed to gallop a new prance
Just worry about you and the missing pieces that you lack that cause you to fixate on others
You hate yourself so much you cant even love your own blood sisters and brothers
The true friends that you had that you traded for space fillers to pump your esteem, invalid
Soon as they tasted your imitation crab meat they became vegetarians and tossed your animal ass like aged salad
Now you sing blues ballads
Bout the emptiness that you hold
From lifelong judgements of others you had all twisted up like tootsie rolls
It gets old, grow up, mature some, focus in
Or else your stance in life will always be as stiff as the man that squeaks, need some oil, ah-rin-a-tin-tin
See me, all I do is win, win, win no matter
And when I step up in the building errr body hands go up, and they stay there, and they stay there
Why?
Because I dont beef patties of arrogance to overbake my pride
My humility keeps me in line, my beauty runs deep from the inside
Dont get me wrong, I take damn good care of the outside
Not cause its superficial, but yet a reflection of self love
I love me before anyone else
Anyone who's ever shared in my light has gained that immense wealth
A man first loves you because you loved you first
Being emotionally unstable and unaware of who you are is the absolute worst
So let these bullets fired serve as your last automatic three round bursts
Cause your illegitimacies that impregnate your obsession with my sparkle just became inert
Not worth consuming energy on mindless flirts of erectile dysfunctional squirts of blasphemous curses
Time to re-new, re-birth, re-girth, re-worth, disburse out impurity, immerse in security

Grow some balls and get my semen outta your ovaries that cause you to bleed clots of the rouge powder that blushes my shine

Feasting off of the vines that I've grown to sweeten my wine should be a blackened crime

The kind that screens your profile just for standing on the corner connected to my perpendicular line

The self esteemed chimes that made Mary J strut her Just Fines didn't come from you swaying to and fro from my peripheral to my behind just so you can thrust ur swine to attempt to bend my spine

I'm over the antics of ur kind, ur occular vision of moi has u medically addicted to ur prescriptive doping blind

of your own self

Redefine you, unwind your curls from my skin

You and I, we dont blend

You're not my kin

Inspire not from out but within

Fornicating on my character is a deadly sin

Its suicidal woman-slaughter

esteem to self is your new bond, detach ur oxygen from my water

And when you rediscover who you are

Then, just maybe then, u can collab and syndicate to network ur own star

Thin Line

Such a thin line between love and hate
Hate so real, makes da prior love feel fake
Fake like fried chicken made with generic shake n bake
No flour or oil to pop authentic grease real frying makes
But da real hate comes from within for the love being so thin
So thin cuz it didnt take much to begin from the thickly shielded skin
And once da defeat of love forfeits its win
Da strength of da love cant die so da transition to hate kicks in
Ur desire to love has ended so u subsitute bad tasting splendor to replace whole sugar cane
Realistically da hate is jus an oil based ointment to prevent the spread of pain
Jus like haters who are always riding ur shit
If u really didnt care ur venom wouldnt even produce spit
Hatred jus means ur heart once full is now lovesick
So u craft bombs to explode wuz left with clicks dat trigger destructive ticks
Do we really allow da power of such mindless dicks
Turn us into hateful, angry powerless chicks
Fight the powers dat be to these thirsty public enemies dat stripped ur circuit
Cut those lines n get ur lights back, dis blackout is not worth it
Love is love and is wut it is
Hate is emotional SIDS
Carbonation with no water and bubbling acidic fiz
Dictation like da lack of authority to a parent from a kid
Dick may be power but pussy has control
Squeeze da handcuffs on dat rock and watch dat power unfold
Heal from the love that struck u like a boulder
Then thrown out like a socket in ur shoulder
And datz ok cuz at some point ur bound to be injury prone
Jus dont throw salt on an open wound to destroy da healing bone
Let dicks be dicks and go find other prey
Cuz karma will find their asses to avenge da fake play
Play action to their satisfaction
Ultimately a razor blade slice to a face off waxing
You loved till there wuz love no more
Though it left open sores
Desires to permanantly seal doors
Hating of urself for the sacrificial outpours
Dat left u stranded, wilderness bound, wounded in war
There's still a tommow after the sorrow that u have to live for
Love urself first, others will follow
Damn da assholes, ur re-birth will be labored to impregnate a joy u no longer have to borrow

Rejuvenation

His kisses were the water to the sea of passion's drought
Hugs, the leaves of trees uprooted from the seeds of doubt
Touch, the electricity of power lines cut and stripped
Caress, the gravity of earth quaked ground shaken and tipped
Then his love, his love, was the time that drew into eternity
When all these actions, begun with words, discharged my heart out of its infirmary
Now my passion has a steady flow with his kiss
His embrace strangles all doubt to create pure bliss
The power of love has regained all strength, maximized
Through strokes of pain ridden and saturated with cloud 9 filled skies
Time was extended from instant death till whenever our earthly lives depart
Who knew that poetry could give me a brand new start

Unfaithful Thread

I'd like to say Happy Father's Day to all those "live" beats that contradict the "dead" beats that exist.  I woke up in my feelings on this fine day so not to take away from the positive vibe of this day but I just had to share my thoughts on my long history of men starting with the first love of my life, my dad.

Welp, my daddy wuz a bastard
Which left me a child disastered
He later tried to dry the rain that poured
Ha, I had already closed dat door
But I opened it back up and cleaned da slate
Even when he continued to bring forth dead weight
So now you cling to me like a tick pricked in da skin
Attaching ur scaly fins to da bottom of my marvelous mermaid blend
I remember way back when you aint even acknowledge me kin
And now da kids u reared wont even let you in
They turned their backs like the paddy wack dat knicked song
Da dog finally got his bone that he longed, now licks all alone
But see I entertain you anyhow
I didnt free throw the foul
I ride the horse of ur disgust with no fuss, Kentucky Dirby style
Pamper the powder of your trigger, go figure, Boom Boom Pow
Thing is the kiss of death already shot you in the face
Gave you a reality check, put dat azz in its place
Sprayed your lungs with malignant waste, now your voice box has no taste
I'm not here to blast out your doggy dog delivered case
Just ironic how you boxed me out da ring when your fate Sugar Ray punched you out da race
I guess you were the starting point of a long ass string of bitchass men I'd string
Was I ever in danger of being a queen to a loyal king?
True indeed I was, just got buzzed by these drunken men
Dat instead of filling me with flavored juice they intoxicated me with generic gin
My ex husband was a cheater, reminds me so much more of you
I fell in love with the shit you lumped when you dumped loving me like your stool
The Jamaican was no better, he said yea let's go get her
Tried to control and manipulate every gene you gave me who's tissue lacked a sir
Then I meet who I finally thought was the real true love of my life
Till he renigged like you did when you sliced then withdrew ur knife, in the line of sight to blind me twice
Ha, so my mom tries to force her matrimony on my like for this baloney
He brought real like you sold ill three fold like Tony Toni Tone
Met this dude dat was cool and was the epitome of God's hand
Mastering an artful image that genuinely good does still stand
Dat image was burnt quickly, sizzled like my skin did in Iraq when I got sienna tanned
Aint it funny doe dat till dis day my best friend forever is yet a man
Oh and lets not forget today wut I read from da one in mind fired off some straight contraband
Just straight blew my desire away into granulated salted pieces of sand
Now trust I do understand dat dis does not define all, jus cuz my seasons turned bland
But my skilllet wall still stays on iron like metal casted on a pan
Datz da plan till a real skyscraper scrapes da gray skies with blue so da sun rays can land

Smile

Smiles are infectious.  It brightens down trodden spirits and dead souls.  Beyond every smile is not always joy, but it definitely exudes happines to be transferred to others.  I try to keep my smile, regardless of what's going on inside, even through all the anger and pain, no wonder I get so many compliments on my smile, it was gifted from the heavens for HIM to use for HIS people, not me...So who am I to keep it to myself....Inspired me to write this: 

My smile’s outer cloak displays joy and is full of light

Trademarked with a copy written stamp they labeled doWrite

See she writes, that’s what she does, she wrongs, but her write ignites rights to impart smiles from her buzz

Buzzing states of imaginary euphoric images transmitted from soulful waves that impart contradictory smileys that refract off of fractured heart pieces incinerated and blazed

Flaming fires fluctuate coloring flaring orange and feverish red to pigment the brokenness flowing

But those burnt, blackened crimsoned angles are disguised with the pastel/fluorescent glossed smile that stays showing

The discomforted tenderness remains knowing that the fruitful sewing of love radiates my glowing

So behind this smile you would never discern the pain that my heart churns

Only the transparency of my licensed gift enables the display of this burn

I don’t allow it to always splash through my skin like the splurges of water released in a vicious dive

Not to say remnants of sprinkled emotions don’t reach the surface, but I strive to keep that smile alive

It’s my heart’s pride, do or die, to abide to this positive vibe

So many times I’ve been told I’m always smiling for no reason, and sometimes I didn’t even know why

I used to question my own self, like why are you smiling uncontrollably, like your smile is the kiss of Jesus’ bride

 That was till I learned that God’s presence, at my birth, was in matrimony with my infectious delight

I may not feel bright indoors, but my closed doors will always landscape an exterior garden that writes light from stars reverberated and tickled through heavenly bites

My smile’s not for me, it was given to me for other’s to receive

And I’m selfless enough to allow angels to draw from me what they need

Thank God He double gifted me to release the aches through written creations such as these

Memorial Day Tribute 2011

Being a war veteran of the Iraqi War, and just being an army vet period, makes Memorial Day special and unique to me.  It wouldn't be fitting if I didn't honor and celebrate those fallen, those I served with, and those that continue to serve till this day....

This is personal, personally emotional, poetically driven
Poetry is personal, personal is poetry, this poetry is sacrificial
Elements of this poetry, not even the typical poet will understand
Not to underman the experience of the emotion of a poet but some emotions are incapable of relation minus experience
Firsthand experience, one on one, person to experience, experience to person, person to situation, situation to emotion, emotion to personal poetry
The floetry is not poetic however, wittingly unclever, form flow levers sever the difference in satirical feathers to hazardous elements faired in unpredictable weather
Unknowingly aware of which breaths will be your last, how fast the steady rhythms shall flow, or if they shall even be labeled steady or paced steady
Always preparing to be ready, firmly, unwillingly rock steady, steady rock
Ticking clocks not necessarily ticking, but could very well be clicking
Sicking life dependencies, non-rational tendencies, becoming intensely, intimately in tune with soulful cries within thee
Envy sympathizes with frenzy, plenty of irrations, fuels waver, full then empty, empty then full, midsize, half way, a portion of, a fraction of, choices only reign from up above
Spirituality now manifesting in reality, lacking formalities, multitudes of maladies requiring remedies, enmities, teases of hopes
Hoping that teases are fabricated and unreal, never acquiring proper seals
Masking what you feel, deals of disproportions, abortions of imaginations
Sensations peeking heights of unforeseen nightmares
Cares impregnated by scares of spontaneous blares
Unaware of predictable fares of here, where, there, splitting tears of gasping airs of oxygen or lack there of
Appreciating love, redefining its precious value, discovering its presence, experiencing its infantile essence
Inadvertently thinking prior encounters were the epitome of what you thought u had learned of
Witnessing suicidal attempts on lives, life long impartations of whys, incontrollable sighs, highs that soar beyond fairytale skies
Eyes of remembrances that shall never escape, weights of burdens that your senses will learn to hate
Understanding fates and destinies, not aligning with hopes and faith of consciousness
Withdrawing temporarily from inspirations, removed from soothing ventilations
Sacrificial efforts executed, never to be related to the layman on the outskirts of the demilitarized band of safe hands protected by the fans of forced ordered hands that dont always understand the demand for their fanatical brand
This is the land in which my journey landed, implanting branded scars that we honor and celebrate
Memories that my service both cherishes and hates
So to my fellow servicemen, relevant and late, please excuse my frayed and disheartened ways
As I reverent you all this special Memorial Day!

My Write

Someone had the nerve to label my writing and my poetry as a hobby, I rudely had to correct them...No this is my passion, my life, my breath of fresh air...So I wrote a piece to reflect my feelings on that

My artistic gift is not an interest, there is no bank to deposit this ink I thrust with my heart's mystic must
A must so funky, Pepe Le Pew's body's fragrance beomes fouled as a flagrant to the ill scents of my un deodorized inspiration
This here, is no pulsatic sensation that flows with the wave of the current
No temporary dish being experimented with, brewing and stewing and test stirring
A scrapbook is a fukkin hobby, my words written or spoken dont market campaign lobbies
No surge in this outlet can trip or break this power to rob me of the sparks that generate this heat
These thoughts that leap from mind, that seap from soul/spirit/heart divide, are the molecules of oxygen that permit me to breathe
God gave you and I the breath of life
God gave me the gift to write
God gave me the need to write
God gave me the ooze to write
My pen never gave me the snooze blues to stop the write clock
My write clock writes continuously, to right my write
I write to right my wrongs
I write to right my rights
I write to write to right
I write to to express my rights and yours
I write to open ajar your closed intellectual doors
I write to stuff the smores of the generic grahams of cracked perspectives your lack of enlightenment smoothes
I write to fill the intellectually empty grooves of the fools of provoking thoughts
I write to fufill the cravings of the fufillment your jig jag puzzle pieces sought
I write for the battles lost in undeclared wars that you fought
I write for you, I write for me, I write for him, I write for she
I write with keys to unlock and free
I write what you cant put together and piece
I write to answer your unaswered pleas
I write what you seek in dark closets on bended knees
I write to relieve needs and gauze protect wounds that bleed
I write so that I can breathe, and you can release as you read
My write is the definition of me
My write is the medicinal supply to my grieve
My write is every emotions epitome
My write is every personality come to life that lacked persona from person
My write is the feast to your famine, your hydration to your thirsting
The cease fire to your bomb bursting
The compass to your wild searching
The shade to your stripped curtain
My write is the jerking of my clever flirting to clarify and distribute its disbursement
THIS, what I do, is no mere phase blurting
THIS, right here, is my life's destined working

Revenge

Just recently lost a friend to domestic violence so I felt compelled to write about it after months and months of ill feelings built up as a result of this situation...

They say its not healthy to hate so let’s bluntly state how sick I am

I mean if to hate you equates to being ill, then refer me to an oncologist to radiate this cancer  my heart feels

Although this form of cancer I’d live with for life, and call me sick again for attempting to murder you with this knife

My hatred is so progressed, I struggle everyday to progress the way Fredrerick Douglas stressed

He stressed a positive, I stress a negative, and I’m not ashamed like that mess Usher confessed

I stress this hate heavier than obese elephants emphasize weight

I flavor my hate like weedheads fill Mary Jane with enhance high concentrated lace

I amp it up higher than the uproaring gasoline raised rates

I spotlight your abomination with nauseating aches

I repulse your vanity with loathing disgrace

My disease craves for the dismemberment of your face

I spit this fiery venom with malignancy and haste

I wish to convert plaques of tissue to blood splattered paste

No worries, I will amend the brutality you just caked on my girl's face like icing topped sickle celled tattooed berries, you just wait

You’re gonna target the day you first decided to draw back your hand and label it the day you lost the breath of life as a man

Please understand I’m transfiguring your manhood from the little train that could, to the little man turned bitch that once stood

I’m going straight hood to avenge the body that you hammered like wood

Nailing 6 inch deep scars the way an Afred Hitchcock psychopath’s axe should

Your uppercuts thrashed more heavy than Katrina did those levies 

Crushing arteries into veins like a construction worker being compressed by a crane

Or a Taliban target being demolished by a hi-jacked plane

Or constricting a tree bark down to a microscopic grain

Or blasting 17 automatic bursts of metal shells to the brain

You will regret the day that into her life your sorry ass ever came

Cause the demolition man this hatred targets aint leaving no organic remains

I’m bout to remake the motion picture of Dawn of the Dead and claim my Hollywood Fame

Based on a true story, first horrific reality show to air a corpse blowing up in flames

And celebrating that shit by putting it on display at the Guggenheim Museum in Spain

My hatred for you is so insane it’s more loco than the membranes of the cypress hill gang

So yea I’m sick, cause I hate you but that aint’ gon change

But you aint got nobody but yourself to blame

So point the finger at you, cause your soul is already pinned on the bruised powdered donkey’s ass

Hell hath seen no fury to this woman’s scorned glass

Broken to bleed in your skin to symbolize the pieces of permanent scars that your fatal attraction carved in

And take heed to this final message that I feed, like Evie E, even with me going this vengeful route

You’ll never understand what our love was all about

To Him

I was really feeling some type of way this week about a situation with a man so I felt compelled to relieve some negative emotions by writing, and oh boy did it help, as usual...Very therapeutic...I apologize for the raw nature of my language in this piece but unfortunately I cannot dilute because this is how it originated from heart at that very moment so to censor it would serve the entire piece injustice...

I get ahead of myself at times and get as inpatient as a woman in labor with no cervical dilation

My emotional sensations are the bin Laden of my erratic situations

They are the command and control center of my reactions to aggravate civil communications

But my humble nature kicks in every time and slows down my ride

And that’s exactly what I did for you and I

So instead of shying away from what I did, or what you did to make me do what I did, I apologized

Not because I was wrong or that I thought you were right

But because it’s no sense in carrying beef and holding on to a continuous fight

And because my ego takes the back seat to my love for you and this relationship that I like

I sent you emails, text messages, rings to your phone with no response

You made it clear that you had no interest and I wasn’t what you want

You were a no show to the trip we planned and paid for

I transcended from your adore to your ignore, so I aint trying no goddamn more

I told you that we didn’t have to necessarily be committed

But you were too small for that, so on my outreach you just straight shitted

I can admit that I’m still feeling you bad

And the sex was the absolute best I ever had

But what’s sad is that I let you get in my ear, touch my heart, all for nothing, so now I’m just mad

If you really meant all the things you said to break me down

You would have treated me differently, now how in the hell does that sound?

You’re just a fucking clown that I should have never allowed in

I even brought you around my kids, now what kind of message does that send?

Datz some shit I don’t ever ever fucking do, dude you have no clue how bad I was feelin you

But to all that I don’t give a fuck, cuz I know when to fall the hell back, so I wish you and your next one the best of luck

You missed out on the greatest thing

But you already know that cuz you wuz already trying to give me a ring

I went out my way for your ignorant bitch ass

And you aint give me shit but a daily dose of a piece of ass

Yea I deleted you from facebook and took your number out my phone

Now you wanna re-friend request me and ask me if you can come home?

Fuck outta here wit dat shit, in my Ed Lover voice

No time for bitchassness, aint no renigging on your own damn choice

I can’t believe I even let you take me there

Precisely the reason why I avoid these love scares

Fuck love I’m tired of trying, my heart big but it beat quiet, that’s what Tyga wrote

And I just wanna choke the shit outta your left ventricle for playing with it till it was broke

It’s all good though, no real true investments were made

But you can D-Wade dribble any hopes you have laid down to hell where you belong

And burn the fuck up in sulfuric acid and cry out your sad fucked up blues song

Cuz I’m back dolo strong for eternity long, now who thinks I’m wrong?

Too bad, I don’t give a fuck, I’m stuck on me and I’ll be damn if I let another love weed make my heart bleed

It suits itself anyway because love never did love me

A Poem For Mama

I wrote this poem about two months ago...in honor of the Mother's Day celebration yesterday, figured I would share again...

You were everywhere you should have been over the years

Though we’ve shed so many tears, been frightened by our biggest fears

But oh what a bond we share, and although the burdens of single motherhood was way more than you could bare

I’d say you conquered the quest pretty fair, and did the absolute best you could when there was no one else to care

How you’d provide for a child all alone, no directions, no assistance, only rejections and resistance

Your love was your persistence that kept you grounded to fight

Even when all resources vanished, and promised help was a mere invisible sight that never existed

Still you insisted no matter how much resisted to press forward with the strength of a steel shield

You’d kill whatever appeared to compromise my well being or diminished my appeal

To feel the burn igniting inside you was surreal, just thinking about your sacrifice makes my heart beat still

Silence….

Indescribable, that’s a mother’s love, more pure than the skin on the most immaculate dove

Up above is from whence your only help came, and the pain that was incurred by those that were so insane to leave you stranded and abandoned you disdained

So utterly confused as to why your plight had headed this direction

The complications that arose gave an incredible, intensified rise in perplexion causing infections of your peace of mind and permanently altered states of your complexion

Depression brought on recurring internal recessions incorporated with incessions of spiritual demons attacking  your soul for eternal reasons

Continuous seasons of this massive warfare, hurtful lessons of reality whipping on you as deadly weapons, then eventually gripping sections of the multiple dragons eventually destroyed by way of confessions, redemption, and prayer

What a joyful feeling it must have been to finally stand on the other side, and know that through all the pain and suffering your sacrificial efforts didn’t go in vain

And those decisions you made that drew incisions in your heart finally healed

And if you’ve ever questioned how I feel, or if I understood how real the love you so magically and colorfully illustrated

Understand if there was never a time I’ve demonstrated my appreciation for what you’ve done and continue to do

Please know that from your heart to mine and back to yours, I love you, I understood, and there will never be another you

Through all the drama, and all the love, most angelic and dearest Mama